Conflicted

As we get closer to sending in our final paperwork I have been feeling a lot of conflicting emotions about our adoption. It has really hit me hard the idea that a family will have to make the decision to give up their child so that Jacob and I will have a child. The thought that a mother/father will loose their child, a grandmother/grandfather will loose their grandchild, a brother/sister will loose their sibling so that Jacob and I will be able to raise a child and that thought is overwhelming.

Don't get me wrong, I still feel like God is leading us to adopt and that adoption is great thing but I can't help but grieve for the loss that this mother will face. Suddenly I feel this huge burden to make sure that my child's birth parents know that when we raise this child that Jacob and I will be raising this child to know that have two sets of parents, them and us. How do I convey to the birth parents the gratitude that I feel that they are allowing us to raise their child? This child will be a huge blessing to us and to our families and I will never be able to repay the birth parents for their gift.

We are so excited for this child but I also never want to forget the birth parents and their sacrifice. They are stronger people for doing this and for seeing the opportunities that they are giving our child. I want to be able to tell our Little One all about their birth family and how giving him/her up for adoption wasn't abandoning them but instead giving them the freedom to live a life that they would not be able to provider for them.

Please pray for Jacob and me, pray that we are able to fully comprehend the responsibility that we have in raising this child. Please pray for the birth parents, for the decision they are making or have already made to give their child up for adoption. And please pray for our child that he/she will be able to understand the great love that his/her birth parents had for them in order to make the decision they did.

Thank you so much for all of the love and support and we continue to praise God for His plans in all of this.

Love,
Kristy

Home Study Part II

Our social worker Kathie came over yesterday for the rest of our home study. Jacob and I spent the whole day on Saturday cleaning and getting ready for for the visit. Kathie basically asked us questions about our marriage, what we feel will be important to teach our child and about our finances. She also got to meet our puppies. We know that God's hand was on this meeting because Kathie is a dog lover and Kylie and Oscar behaved themselves.

The home study process has shown me how truly blessed I am to have the family that I have and the husband that God designed for me. The questions that have been asked has required me to truly look at who I am and how so many people have influenced my life. I have had to put into words how I view my parents and why. I had to talk about why my sisters are my best friends and what I admire about them. And I had to put.into words why I fell in love with my husband and what makes him strong. If you have never done an exercise pike that I highly recommend that you do. It has really given me a whole new way to look at how God has been leading my life.

We have parenting classes next Friday and Saturday and we can't get our finalized home study until that is.done. We are hoping to submit our dossier no later then mid-March. Once the dossier is submitted we will be put on the list for a child! God is so good!

Home Study Interview

We met with our social worker today and the interview went awesome! Kathie was super nice and asked great questions about us. I was super anxious about the meeting and Kathie was very personable. She basically asked the same questions that were asked on our questionnaire. She also gave us some realistic time lines about the rest of the process. Our next appointment is next Wednesday at 3 pm.

After the next interview we have the required parenting classes on February 19 & 20 and then Kathie said she will give us the final home study. Once that is done we can submit our dossier and then we wait for our child!

Woohoo! Our home study is scheduled for Tuesday at 2pm. Please pray for us!

Home Study

We had some trouble with getting our reference letters over to Holt but our last letter was finally received on Wednesday and we were assigned a social worker yesterday. Some friends of ours had the same social worker and said she is awesome. We are hoping to get our home study done ASAP. After our home study is done all we need to do is submit our dossier and the waiting will begin.

Please be praying for our Little One as he/she goes through whatever journey God has for him/her before we have them in our arms.
We could also use prayers about our finances. Specifically for money for our dossier fee and airline tickets.

We love you all and we appreciate your continued prayers and support. I will try to blog more now that I have internet.

Love,
Kristy

Frustrations

It has been a while since I last blogged and it seems like at every turn we hit a road block. It started out with me marking on my background check that I had been arrested and convicted of a felony which caused DHS to return my form. I corrected that and then sent in a request for our marriage certificate only to find that the state couldn't find a record of our marriage. Eventually they found it but not until 4 weeks after I sent in my request. We also had a small issue with our bank and trying to get documents notarized.

For me it can be hard to look past the frustrations to the full picture. Jacob does a great job or reminding me that we do this all for our Little One. I am sure that we haven't come close to all the furstrations that we will encounter during this journey, but I know that just like giving birth, the little person at the end of this journey will be worth the pain and frustration.

Sorry about the long delay in posting. Because we don't have internet at home and work cut off my access to post on the blog. So where are we at in the adoption? Well we took the Monday off after Thanksgiving so that we could go get fingerprinted. We also sent in our home study fee and some other background information.

We got a huge packet of stuff in the mail yesterday. There is a sixteen page questionairre that we both have to fill out along with some info about our finances and other stuff. We also got information about the dossier process. It is a very intimidating but I think we will get it done.

Over Thanksgiving it really hit Jacob & I just how much of a reality it is that our child is already out there and we don't know what circumstances he/she is in but they are probably pretty bad. We had so much food and fun and it is hard to think that our child could be going hungry every night. We are so thankful for all that God has blessed us with and we are so ready to share all that we have with this child.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers and I will try to blog every time I get access to a computer.

Love,
Kristy