Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Conflicted

As we get closer to sending in our final paperwork I have been feeling a lot of conflicting emotions about our adoption. It has really hit me hard the idea that a family will have to make the decision to give up their child so that Jacob and I will have a child. The thought that a mother/father will loose their child, a grandmother/grandfather will loose their grandchild, a brother/sister will loose their sibling so that Jacob and I will be able to raise a child and that thought is overwhelming.

Don't get me wrong, I still feel like God is leading us to adopt and that adoption is great thing but I can't help but grieve for the loss that this mother will face. Suddenly I feel this huge burden to make sure that my child's birth parents know that when we raise this child that Jacob and I will be raising this child to know that have two sets of parents, them and us. How do I convey to the birth parents the gratitude that I feel that they are allowing us to raise their child? This child will be a huge blessing to us and to our families and I will never be able to repay the birth parents for their gift.

We are so excited for this child but I also never want to forget the birth parents and their sacrifice. They are stronger people for doing this and for seeing the opportunities that they are giving our child. I want to be able to tell our Little One all about their birth family and how giving him/her up for adoption wasn't abandoning them but instead giving them the freedom to live a life that they would not be able to provider for them.

Please pray for Jacob and me, pray that we are able to fully comprehend the responsibility that we have in raising this child. Please pray for the birth parents, for the decision they are making or have already made to give their child up for adoption. And please pray for our child that he/she will be able to understand the great love that his/her birth parents had for them in order to make the decision they did.

Thank you so much for all of the love and support and we continue to praise God for His plans in all of this.

Love,
Kristy

3 comments:

  1. We were just talking about this. The strange paradox of adoption how on one side of the world we celebrate and get ready for family and on the other side is heart ache and tragedy. Wish we had some advice to give but really this question may never get an answer. 150 million kids go to sleep tonight without parents... are we failing some sort of cosmic societal test?

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  2. My sister in law adopted their little girl and she has been the blessing in their life as well as ours. My prayers are with you.
    Terry

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  3. So very true. Thanks for sharing. I found you through a blog of a blog and realize we have the same agency and SW! Keep on keeping on! The roadblocks can be frustrating but eventually you'll have a little one in your arms.

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